Have you ever blown it? I mean, really messed up? I have. So much so that I felt like all the years of credibility that I thought I had gained with my Heavenly Father was totally lost in a matter of 1 short hour. My latest relapse set me in a tailspin of frustration, worry and doubt and I’m still dealing with the consequences of my actions. Recognizing my demise I’ve immediately started back on the path to gaining His trust again, I’ve prayed and asked for forgiveness and started the process of redemption all over again……not so easy, says my accuser.
So there I was, spiralling down the abyss of destructive thinking, knowing the truth but believing the lies. In spite of what I know, I found myself wallowing in self-pity, feeling alone, abandoned and discouraged. The Word says I’m more than a conqueror but there I was feeling conquered. It says nothing can separate me from His love, yet I felt apart from Him, separated. It says no weapon formed against me shall be able to prosper, yet I felt the fiery darts of every weapon the enemy had hurled at me piercing my soul. It says He will never leave me nor forsake me, yet in that moment I felt so all alone, forsaken. It says there is no condemnation yet I felt so condemned. Paul said it so eloquently when he declared, “For what I do is not the good I want to do, no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.” I felt totally defeated.
Through all of this “knowing”, I went with my feelings. So what good is it to know the Word if it’s not applied daily? The enemy also knows the Word. In Luke 4 he quickly pointed out to Jesus that if He (Jesus) jumped, angels would be there to carefully guard Him. But as I’ve daily applied the Word, praying and seeking God, allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me, I’ve come out of a deep dark place.
Pastor Del in his message last week, “Keep in Step with the Spirit," spoke of the folly of depending on our feelings, and that God doesn’t disinherit us when we’ve failed and then repent. He reminded me that I was a work in progress. God in His infinite love, mercy and wisdom reminded me again that I didn’t need to “work my way back into His good graces,” that Jesus over two thousand years ago declared, “It is finished.” I have already been redeemed, delivered, set free from the law of sin and death. Nothing else is required of me and it can’t be earned; it is His free gift to me.
As we begin the season of Lent, and so many of us plan on “giving up” something, I recall Pastor Tracy’s quote in her message, “The Person Who Experiences God." James 5:17 - “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently.” Could I encourage you to add something to this season of Lent? Would you add another 5 minutes of fervent prayer to your day? I’m absolutely convinced that we are no different than Elijah, that God will hear and answer our fervent prayers for whatever we ask in accordance with His will and purpose.
I’m believing God for lots of things:
- I’m believing that there’ll be an outpouring of His Spirit on the families we’ve connected with through Freedom Community Centre and that many of those families will come to faith in Christ.
- I’m believing that God will raise up 4 women in our church who will give leadership to a women’s discipleship group, “Women of Freedom.”
- I’m believing that there’ll be an explosive spiritual growth in our youth and many leaders will be borne out of that.
- I’m believing that relationships that are broken and marriages on the brink of failure will be restored.
- I’m believing that God will supernaturally impart the gifts of the Spirit in increasing numbers among us so that we can impact our community in even greater measure for the Kingdom.
Will you pray fervently with me and believe with me?
Submitted by Jackie Morris, Posted with Permission